rummaging...

How to induce another heart attack

"So, how's that new pacemaker working out for you?"

"Oh fine Doctor. Why?"

"Well, no reason to be worried, but we did buy it on eBay."

"Oh really. Those things can cost $6,000. How much did you pay?"

"About $400"

"Right, I see. Anything else?"

"Oh no. Except that it was stolen."
 

I'm sorry, I think you might die

A seller on the eBay forums has a reluctant buyer:

A high bidder on some of my auctions emailed me to say she didn't want to buy from me anymore because she did a tarot card reading on me and it said I was going to die. She says she's afraid I'll die before I get to ship her items. How should I respond?

On this thread, they refer to the user "zerofeedback". This is the first time I've seen someone use an empty eBay "about me" page as, basically, some free webspace to make a point. The page offers a feedback form for non-paying bidders.

Are there any other "hidden pages" on the site - especially people using fake accounts to make their point on the "about me" page?

The IRS wants to tax your eBay income

We've covered this before for the UK, but now it looks like the IRS is cottoning on to eBay as an income stream.

Wired reports:

The IRS can apply a list of nine indicators that might prove whether someone's online auctions amount to a business. These indicators include evidence that the taxpayer depends on the income, acts in a businesslike manner, or puts enough time and effort into the activity to suggest a profit motive.

These tests look woolly. We live in a pro-am world where the line between jobs, hobbies, businesses and pastimes are increasingly indistinct. Serious amateurs can compete with the best, people pursue hobbies like businesses and run one-off projects as serious activities.

Also, the time and effort test looks suspicious. I've spent hours on rummaging, but anyone who suspects a profit motive at work is welcome to look at my google adsense receipts.

If the way to avoid tax is to treat your eBay customers ineptly, in order to fail the "businesslike manner" test, then surely something is wrong. "I'm sorry I didn't reply to you email, but I always try to delete the first couple in order to illustrate that I am just a clownish one man band".

It's difficult, as people who conduct their business online should be liable for tax, but to throw a net over every online garage sale and hobbyist seems like clumsy regulation.

Fred Durst's Watches

Fred Durst is apparently selling his watches on eBay. Probably to pay for his large random legal bills.

I've got the picture, but can't find the auctions. Any help, people?

Still bored? Cool footy website

So you've come here from Yahoo!, read everything, laughed and cried and now you're looking for something else.

Well check out this cool grid of premiership news inspired by the news feeds at tenbyten.org (that never seems to work due to the load on the server). I think it's really smart - nice and simple. What do you think?
 

Dorito Popes Hat, My Daughter's Monster

Couple of weird ones for you. A Dorito shaped like a Pope's hat (though, to be honest, don't most Doritos look like that?) and a mother keen to make some money out of her daughters trauma...

YOU ARE BIDDING ON MY DAUGHTERS MONSTER. THIS MONSTER ONLY LIKES TO COME OUT WHEN MY DAUGHTER GOES TO BED

***THE HIGH BIDDER WILL IN REALITY WILL  RECIEVE THE PLASTIC BAG (APROX 14x12"), A SOFT CLOTH WHICH IS WHAT MY DAUGHTER BELIEVE THAT IS ACTUALLY HOLDING "HIM" THE MONSTER , AND MY DAUGHTER'S MONSTER DRAWING.

The bizarre life of an FHM staff writer

FHM magazine is selling a seven foot high picture of Kelly Brook. They write "FHM requests no sniffing, no cutting out the eyes to spy on people, no using it as a giant sled." The value they put on this auction is captured in their username: fhm_sells_crap. Though this name has just been changed from the more prosaic leecoan.

If you then google "lee coan" +fhm (i'm starting to reveal the magic that goes into putting rummaging together) then you get this article about a disgruntled witch and their dealings with FHM. Mr Coan has been asked to check that there isn't a curse on his air conditioning.

Can you imagine the sort of life Lee Coan leads? From these examples, he seems to live an entirely random life, bouncing around at the whim of his angry, capricious, coke-addled editors. They seem to be an unholy mix of Henry the Eighth, Janet Street Porter and Kelvin McKenzie.

It seems poor Lee can barely get through the door before they start barking their oddball requests. "Coan , phone up that witch and ask if she cursed us", "Coan, put that giant picture of Kelly Brook on eBay before I set fire to it", "Coan, wear this jesters uniform and interview Ricky Gervais", "Coan, go and have an enema" etc etc etc.

It's like some twisted form of slavery. For £14,000 a year, poor Lee Coan has to be someone's indentured monkey. Can we start a campaign to have him freed?

BogNog the Evil Dog

If half of what is said about BogNog the Evil Dog is true, then you don't want it.

"Cursed since the beginning of time, this charming looking canine holds more dark magic than any other stuffed toy."

He does have a great name, though. Thanks Kaye!

New Auction idea: Sharing problems

In the comments on this post - "How bored are you?" - "Matt" offers to share his personal dilemma for a couple of quid. He wrote:

Very bored..although to be fair that is probably because I am avoiding thinking about a real personal dilemna. Maybe that could be a new bid item, I could sell off the rights to my burning issue. Bored people with nothing going on right now could bid to have my issue, bid high enough they could even take charge of solving it.

If you believe, as I do, that Matt should put the right to share this personal dilemma in an auction on eBay, then let him know! How much would you bid to know Matt's problem and maybe, earn the right to help him solve it? Would you want to tell him problems of your own?

Matt, if you're reading this - the public wants to know!

Links

I don't feel I'm really playing my part in the whole "blogs link to other blogs" thing and I should step up and sprinkle some link-joy around. Email me at rummaging@gmail.com or leave a note in the comments with how great your site is and I'll link it up.